2010-09-23

dumb shit


Feeling really stagnant recently. My mind is filled with domestic thoughts...doing the washing, organizing the flat, going grocery shopping, what to make for dinner...it would make a feminist puke. Need to refocus and concentrate on what is really important to me. Need to start the creative flow again. But I just feel so inadequate right now, like nothing I do will be good enough. Maybe it's being surrounded by young amazingly talented/successful people all the time. It should be inspiring but I've just been finding myself discouraged. And I've been stuck in the mindset of "why am I doing this and what is the point of it all??" which is not a good mindset to be in at all because it prevents me from starting ANYTHING. This is dumb shit....I am trapping myself with nonexistent psychological issues that have no need to be there. This is exactly the kind of thing I ran away from at home and somehow thought that moving here would free me from, but DUH running away from a place does escape me from myself. Shoulda known....and I've watched Stranger Than Paradise about a million times.

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